From Goals to Soul: 4 Ways the Desire Map will Unlock Your Best Life

BOOK REVIEW

After hitting my quarter-life crisis, I didn't have the words to articulate what I was feeling. All I knew was that something was missing, and it was much deeper than the typical uncertainties of early adulthood. It was as if a veil had been lifted, and I could finally see the truth of what I had been ignoring for years - I had been loudly living according to other people's expectations.

In the midst of this turmoil, my best friend became my anchor. We made a conscious decision to embark on this journey of self-discovery together. We checked in on each other regularly, shared our fears, our wins, and the little moments of growth, and most importantly, we asked each other tough questions that pushed us both to peel back layers of who we were and who we wanted to be. She gave me her copy of The Desire Map, which ultimately inspired me to lean into my unique outlook on life.

The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul by Danielle LaPorte is a profound exploration of how we can set goals based not on what we think we should achieve, but on how we want to feel. This book challenges the traditional goal-setting approach and helps readers focus on the emotional experience they want to have, allowing them to design lives that are aligned with their deepest desires. Book Review

LaPorte approaches goal-setting on emphasizing how we want to feel, rather than focusing solely on what we should achieve. I could design my own life, based not on external expectations or societal norms, but on the feelings and desires that lived within me.

One of the most profound insights I gained was that I didn’t have to continue down the path others had envisioned for me. I could redefine success on my own terms and, more importantly, pursue a life that was in alignment with my deepest desires—freedom, joy, and purpose. The idea that my own feelings and inner truth could be the compass for my life’s direction was nothing short of liberating. It was as if a fog had lifted, and for the first time in years, I felt clear, empowered, and, most importantly, in control of my own story.

Looking back, I realize that this moment of clarity marked a turning point—a moment where I chose to stop playing by other people's rules and instead, began living from a place of deep authenticity and intention. It wasn’t an easy process, but it was one that has continued to shape and guide me ever since.

Here are five key insights from The Desire Map that will inspire you to live with intention and authenticity.

1. The Power of Core Desired Feelings

In The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte introduces the concept of "Core Desired Feelings" (CDFs). Rather than focusing solely on external achievements, LaPorte encourages us to define how we want to feel in life. These feelings are the emotional compass that guides our decisions and actions. By setting goals around how we want to feel, we align our aspirations with our inner truth.Tip: Take the time to identify your Core Desired Feelings. These could be words like "joy," "freedom," "peace," or "empowerment." Once you have them, use these feelings as your North Star to guide every decision you make.

2. "You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to feel your feelings and take the next step."

This quote reminds us that we don't have to be perfect or fearless to move forward in life. The key is to acknowledge our feelings, trust ourselves, and take action, even if it's just one small step at a time.

3. The Shift in Goal-Setting

Danielle LaPorte shares her personal story of how she shifted from traditional goal-setting, focused on external validation and achievements, to a more soul-centered approach. She realized that even when she hit her external goals, she wasn’t necessarily feeling the way she wanted to feel. This realization sparked her Desire Map process, which helps people focus on the emotional aspect of their goals. This story emphasizes the importance of going beyond the “how” and “what” of life to the why—the feeling we want to cultivate.

4. Tools Offered by LaPorte

In The Desire Map, LaPorte offers a transformative set of tools for discovering and embodying your Core Desired Feelings. One such tool is the Desire Map Workbook, which helps readers clarify their emotional goals and align them with their practical goals. Another key tool is the Feeling Formula, where you can break down how you want to feel into actionable steps. This empowers you to transform intangible feelings into concrete, actionable goals.

If you’re feeling stuck or uncertain about the path you’re on, I encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself: How do I want to feel? The Desire Map can help you uncover the emotional compass that will guide your decisions, your goals, and your life. You don’t have to follow the path others have laid out for you—create your own, based on your deepest desires. Take a moment to reflect on what truly lights you up and start designing a life that aligns with who you are at your core. Let this be the beginning of a new chapter where you embrace your authentic self and start living with intention. Your journey starts now—are you ready to discover what you truly want?