5 MONEY LESSONS FROM THE YEAR I INVESTED IN MYSELF
- Katherine Alexiss
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
I have the tab open, the card in my hand, and I still haven't clicked purchase.
I didn't almost skip investing in myself because of the price. I almost skipped it because I couldn't justify spending money on me.
If you've stared at a number and felt your stomach drop, it might not be about the number at all. Here's what I actually learned the year I stopped talking myself out of it.
1. I priced it against everything except what staying the same was costing me
I compared it to a car payment, a vacation, a kitchen remodel — anything to make the number feel unreasonable. I never once compared it to what another year of feeling stuck was already costing me. That comparison never made it onto the spreadsheet, because some part of me didn't want the answer.
2. I almost picked the cheapest option just to make it feel more reasonable
Not because it was the right fit. Because a smaller number felt safer to defend — to myself, mostly. I've watched other women do the same thing since: shrink the choice down until the guilt gets quiet, instead of picking what they actually need.
3. I didn't tell anyone the number until after I'd already paid it
I told my closest friend the trip was happening. I didn't tell her what it cost until I was already on the plane. Somewhere in there I'd decided the number needed defending, and it was easier to defend a decision already made than one still up for debate.
4. I ran the math like spending on myself needed a better excuse than spending on anyone else
I've bought gifts for other people without blinking at the price. The math changes the second my name is on the receipt. That double standard is the real reason so many of us stall out on this decision — not the bank account, the permission.
5. I built payment plans into this retreat because I needed one and didn't have one
When it came time to build Edinburgh, the Klarna payment plan wasn't a nice-to-have. It came directly from the year I spent doing mental math I shouldn't have had to do alone. If cost is the thing standing between you and a decision, a plan that spreads it out is a real answer — not a consolation prize.
What actually changed
The year I stopped pricing myself against a stricter standard than I use for everyone else, the decision stopped being about the number at all. It became about whether I was willing to keep making an exception out of my own name on the receipt.
Where to start
If you've caught yourself pricing your own name on the receipt differently than everyone else's, that's worth sitting with before you close the tab again.
Payment plans are available, 6 spots are open for October.
Is it selfish to spend money on a retreat for myself?
No — but it's common to feel that way. Most women price spending on themselves against a stricter standard than spending on anyone else, which is a permission problem, not a financial one.
How do I know if I can afford a self-love retreat?
Look at your finances honestly, but also notice if you're applying a stricter bar to this purchase than you would to something for someone else. Payment plans can also make a larger cost more manageable month to month.
Can I pay for a retreat in installments?
Yes. Payment plans through Klarna let you spread the cost out instead of paying the full amount up front.
What if I feel guilty spending money on myself?
That guilt is common and worth examining rather than obeying. Ask whether you'd hesitate this much if the money were going toward helping someone you love.
How do I decide if a retreat is worth the money?
Notice whether you're holding this decision to a different standard than you'd hold spending on someone else. If the answer is yes, that's the thing to solve for — not just the number itself.
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